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At last...

Balqis is settling down. She managed to overcome her phobia about 70% now. Not totally.. i know, but at least she's trying. Bravo kakak..

You must be wondering how did she managed to doing so, right? (No..? tak kisah la.. nak cerita jugak. Hehehe) I turned myself to a coldhearted no nonsense stepmom. Hehehe

U see, the whole week last week, dia buat perangai. On monday, I have to be at school with her, but I waited at the canteen. Tuesday, at first she was ok but then buat perangai balik, had to tunggu dia bawah class, pergi toilet kena bawak. Coming wednesday, she's worst. I have to wait outside her class. If I was out of her sight, she came rushing out of her class, tak pedulik ada cikgu ka tak. She tak masuk class after rehat for more that 1 a 1/2 hour. Even Bazleen was late to school that day. So I decided to do something on Friday. (Thursday, was public holiday, Awal Muharram 1429). Enough is enough. I pakat with her class teacher, saying that I will leave her at the gate on friday, and I hope ada cikgu waiting there. I did the same on Monday, but since there's no teacher around, Balqis lari keluar sekolah and followed me. It's dangerous la kan, banyak kereta around.

On Friday, instead of sending her myself, I asked my sister, Xpin, to send Balqis to school. The reason is that, she must go to work, so Balqis cannot force Xpin to stay with her at school. And from what Xpin told me, Balqis was histerical, cried herself out, and refused to go to school. Xpin took almost 15 mins to force her out of the car, and another 15 mins to drag her to the perhimpunan (the buat perhimpunan everyday). Alhamdulillah, teachers there are very caring and understanding, two of them (her english teacher and another lady teacher) grab hold of Balqis's hands and asked Xpin to go to work. Xpin left immediately.

Actually her English teacher was waiting for her at the school gate, and followed Xpin as Xpin tried to pujuk Balqis. But since my Balqis tak makan saman, she (the teacher) decided to use force. (Actually I told her class teacher that I need someone to pegang her so I can go home, and the teacher did that, Alhamdulillah) I know some of you might think that the method I used ni is rather harsh, and that I never should have used force on her. But since I'm the mother, I know what's she like. I know her weaknesses and I know what she can do and not do. After all... I'm the one yang took care of her since birth. I'm a full time housewife remember.. hehehe.

Today, I just left her at the gate and she walked in herself. Alhamdulillah. The things I did to her last friday made her overcome her phobias. She still was a little worried this morning, but I just ignore and tak tanya pun how she feeld ka apa ke. Takut she gets sentimental kang, susah.

She was not keen to go to her Sekolah Agama in the afternoon also. And I know it's not the same reason as her going to Sek Keb. I myself tak berapa suka Sek Agama tu (hehehe teruk punya mak), so I didn't force her to go la. But she still goes to Sek Agama, to blajar KAFA, at a different school, smaller but mak dia pun satisfied. Hehehe and now, instead of forcing her to Sek Agama, dia yang tak sabar2 nak pergi. Alhamdulillah..

p/s - If you are wondering mcmana Balqis dkt school last friday, she only cried for a few minutes after Xpin left her. Lps tu she's ok, and back to her old self sampai abis sekolah.
p/s - I ada spy (s) .. makcik sapu sampah and makcik kedai buku. Hehehe.

Didaskaleinophobia (School Phobia)

School Phobia (Didaskaleinophobia) is itself a symptom of anxiety disorder in childhood. It is also known as separation anxiety, which is an inappropriate fear of leaving their parents, a person or place of trust or home for example.

My eldest is suffering from Didaskaleinophobia now. These are the symptoms:

  1. Constant thoughts and fears about safety of self and parents
  2. Refusing to go to school
  3. Frequent stomach aches and other physical complaints
  4. Extreme worries about sleeping away from home
  5. Overly clingy
  6. Panic or tantrums at times of separation from parents
  7. Feeling unsafe staying in a room by themselves
  8. Clinging behavior
  9. Displaying excessive worry and fear about parents or about harm to themselves
  10. Shadowing the mother or father around the house
  11. Difficulty going to sleep
  12. Having nightmares
  13. Exaggerated, unrealistic fears of animals, monster, burglars
  14. Fear of being alone in the dark
  15. Severe tantrums when forced to go to school
Balqis symptoms are no 1, 2, 3(no stomach ache but complained of feeling sleepy all the time), 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13 (not exaggerated but she's definitely one of the chosen one, who can see the 'unseen'), 14 and 15.
So in order for her to get use to the situation and environment, I have to be at school with her (not in the class, just around the area) insyaAllah in time, she can overcome her phobia.


New Year... and back to school..

It's already 2008, and to be frank.. to me.. it doesn't feel like a fresh year. Hopefully, I'll feel fresh when 1 Muharram arrives (10th January).
It's back to school day, finally... Balqis and Bazleen been counting the days since early dec. Hehehe they r so excited. The first day was kindda hectic for me. Lari sana, lari sini, gi sana.. gi sini.. alone. Zul tak blh take the day off, banyak sangat kerja.
It's the first day of school for Balqis, yes, she's std 1. (and i feel young, unlike my friends yang ada anak 12 tahun.. ahaks..). And Bazleen continue her lessons dkt the same kindy. Just the opposite of Balqis school (Alhamdulillah). Balqis got up as early as 6.15, had her breakfast and off to school. It's only 7.05 when we arrived. Balqis was too excited, seronok. Around 7.20, had to rush back and wake bazleen up, for her kindy. By 8 she's already at school. When back to school to check on Balqis, had a chit chat with my neighbour, whose son is in the same class. ( her son was Balqis class mate in kindy). Around 8.30am when back to check on Bazleen. She was enjoying herself, playing and with a smile on her face. Didn't even notice I was there. Hehehe.

Cut story short, Balqis enjoyed her class, so did Bazleen. Balqis was too tired during sek agama that she tetido after an hour until recess time. Hahahaha.



Picture of Balqis during her orientation day Sek Agama and Kebangsaan